But I’ve Got A Plan

I’ve got a plan, and it is good,
and long-range,
built-in safeguards,
kind of plan,
and, oh yes, 
I know...
shit happens.

AND IT IS SO DEVASTATING
SO MIND DESTROYING
IN THAT/THIS INSTANT
ALL
HAS
CHANGED

I shall go slowly at first,
and cry,
and shiver without control,
and go slowly
at first.

I saw a glimpse of colour today,
but when I looked for the source
it was gone.

I heard me crying today,
hearing for the first time
the encapsulated grief,
the engrained sense of loss.

And I stopped.

And stepped into today
where joy is the norm,
and love is the root.